Monday, March 18, 2013

WASP wine

They call it 2010 Cut The Fluff. I call it The Real Housewives of Trader Joe's. 

If last week's white was a cheerleader, this wine is a cheerleader who grew up, married the quarterback, divorced him, fooled around with Kelsey Grammer for a while, started a perfume line after her single dropped and thinks her botox is fooling everyone. She'll throw herself at you if you make enough money and throw herself at you if you talk back to her at her own garden party (cause how else can she throw a glass of wine in your face?).

Topping out at a hefty 14.2% ABV, this is one boozy white. With melons and florals on the nose giving way to a rich body with peach notes and surprisingly little sweetness on the palate, this sinful, slightly savory wine is a pleasure to sip, if a little showy (omg but do NOT tell it I said that). When this wine decided to "Cut the Fluff," it meant that in the way all Real Housewives mean it when they say something like, "I'm just going to be honest with you" which is to say it means things are about to get real complicated and a little punchy in here. Luckily, with wine, that's a good thing. It's a California Central Coast blend, but really, don't all WASPs have a little west coast heritage and something extra in them these days?

Serve with fried chicken, smoked salmon, or some other salty situation to make the fruit flavors sing. Pairing with Bugles and a Real Housewives marathon? Perfection. Cheddar Chex Mix and the second season of Girls you're watching via your friend's parents' HBOGo account (thanks, Stacey)? A dream. Straight from the bottle on your way to 7-11 to get this stuff because damnit, Ali Schouten, you make me crave? Right behind you.

Oh, and the cork is pretty.


  1. Ali Schouten: you make me want to go to Trader Joe's. And I hate Trader Joe's. You thinking about doing any sommelier training? xox-paige

    1. Thanks, Paige! I'm taking classes but not sure I could ever be a sommelier for real!