Another weirdo white...

...from one of my very favorite weirdos, Sarah Streicher! And this wine is just like her: classy and confusing with some humor and bite and charisma and it is white! But like... with attitude. And freckles. Can a wine have adorable freckles? Uh. Yeah. And if one wine were to do the job, it would be this tart and confusing wonder...

Please note that I actually have a glass from this winery to drink it from. 

Also "Bachelor in Paradise" on in the background. 

This is the correct way to drink wine.

The Zaca Mesa 2009 Roussanne reminds me of an Amarone: it smells like a dessert wine and drinks like a dry white wine. But this one has another added twist: it's served room temperature like a red! What????? Yeah, you heard that right. Which is to say, you heard nothing, you're reading this to yourself in a quiet room with a framed photo of my on an otherwise empty mahogany table at your side, so what would you be hearing? Me? As I write this, I'm hearing the lilting lullaby of a house painter next door screaming and whistling along to Spanish language pop music.

The wine is aged sur lie and you can really taste it. There's a super yeasty quality to this one. The label says spiced pears, figs and roasted almonds. For sure. For me it's like peach cobbler without any sugar. An intriguing wine that makes you want to pour another glass. If wine tasting is all about engaging the senses, this wine fucking gets it. If not, I may not get "it." Uh-oh.

If you like things that are interesting, be sure to follow Sarah on Twitter @heyabbot. Look how cute she and this piglet are!!!

The best wine in the world...

Is friendship. Duh. But the second best wine in the world is R. Lopez de Heredia "Vina Gravonia" Bianco Rioja 2004 and on Sunday, I had both.

My beautiful bestie. Not the girl in the background. That's my Ultimate Nemesis.

Pictured is Ms. Julia Cox, Friend Supreme as well the writer of this smart people equivalent to fan fiction. In this photo, she's not actually drinking the second best wine in the world, because when we were served the second best wine in the world, we were a little too busy exclaiming over it to bother with a picture.

If you've yet to attend a tasting at Silverlake Wine, remedy that immediately. Not only do they use my preferred spelling of "Silverlake" (the incorrect, one word spelling), it is simply the best wine tasting experience you can have. Somehow the folks there find the exact sweet spot between knowledgable and laid back, meaning anyone, from the most distinguished oenophile to the most dedicated beer drinker can have a hell of a time. For 12 bucks on Monday and Thursday evenings, you can have a delicious flight of generous pours. Mondays feature a spread of complimentary cheeses, Thursday's, bread and the finest butter I have ever known, and both nights you're welcome to bring food in. Killer food trucks linger outside, and one time my dear friend Aubrey brought in a pizza and that was ENCOURAGED.

But Sundays. Oh, man, Sundays at Silverlake Wine. I had no idea. I had some idea. I am on their mailing list. Sunday tastings are more formal (relatively speaking). They require a reservation. There are little speeches before each wine. They have start time of 3pm, which says, "this is serious wine tasting, not after work drinks." Sunday tastings are 20 dollars, feature five wines and come with an impossibly delicious spread of food. I finally went this past Sunday and, 3 hours later, dawdled home in the best mood ever and bought a ticket to The Lego Movie and went by myself and it was dope, obviously.

Just the atmosphere and company alone would have been enough. But, as I said, there was also this wine. This wine:

This wine.

I don't believe in love at first sight. Probably because people are constantly claiming to be in it with me like 24/7/365 plus more, like many times per day. But this was love at first sniff and I know it with all my heart.

This is the strangest wine I've ever tasted. The name of the grape escapes me, but it's definitely not one I've tried. It's an aged white, which is rare. Ten years old for a white is generally seen as too much. But whatever they're doing at this winery, they're killing it. Cool thing is, they don't exactly know. Most places that age in oak barrels use small, new ones so a wine will get lots of oak flavors (for whites this generally means the buttery, biscuit-y aromatics associated with California Chardonnay). These guys use old, big barrels, which means less direct contact with oak and less oak flavor. What's more, they don't wash them. Most places wash after every season. Nope. Here they love their wine so much they're afraid of changing anything, so they keep it as is, grime and all.

And it's easy to imagine a magic bacteria is the key to the success here. The first sniff was packed full of earthy, salty, rich aromatics. Brie cheese. Mushrooms. Julia said mushrooms on toast, and that's dead on because of the butter and near salinity in there as well. But there's also honeysuckle. Dried apricot. This wine is bone dry on the palate, not sweet at all, but there are layers we'd normally associate with a dessert wine--honey, dried fruits. It's old, but has the minerality and refreshing zing of a young Sauvignon Blanc. Lemon curd. Rosemary! Name an unexpected aromatic and it was probably in there. And it kept changing. They had decanted the wine for an hour (another rarity with whites). When I got a second pour after the tasting (4 dollars extra. FOUR DOLLARS FOR A GLASS OF THIS HEAVEN), it was a whole new bouquet.

We tried the wine with the delectable fish stew from Heirloom LA, but found it went better without food. There's so much happening here, you just want to take tiny sips and big whiffs forever and keep searching. If I had to pair this wine with something, I'd pair it with a little bit of pot. The things you would find!

I bought two bottles, and I plan to serve them with a nice little cheese plate and stellar conversation. If you happen to be in the neighborhood with 29.50 to spare, I highly recommend you do the same. I also cannot recommend friendship enough. Just, so good.

Oh I fancy huh

It may shock some of you to learn that these posts aren't all that official. Like the Schouten Feelings Standard has yet to be adopted by sommeliers worldwide. Lame. For fun, I thought I'd share a proper tasting note I did last spring for my wine class. It also allows me to brag about the one time I drank a wine that cost more than $20 (thanks, Dad). True tasters will evaluate wines the same way every time, taking down each detail from price to palate. This allows them to compare wines efficiently, even if they haven't tasted a particular wine in a while.

Below my tasting note (after the terribly framed photo. Thanks, self) is an explanation of how to draw each of these official, non-feelings-based conclusions. Even if you don't plan to ever make a proper tasting note, these tips will help you evaluate wine wherever you are and whatever your price point. Because engaging our senses is fun! Speaking of fun, quick puzzle update, I am TEARING THROUGH this thing even without a box top so I don't know what it looks like. It's a great puzzle full of twists and turns and things are going really well between us.

Francis Ford Coppola Director's Cut 2011 Merlot
Sonoma County, CA
$20.99, 13.5% ABV

Appearance: A normal red wine in the glass. Only the tiniest bit transparent, mostly opaque. Ruby red with a little purpley-blue.

Nose: Earth aromas of forest floor and oak alongside black cherry, blackberry and smoke. A little caramel, coconut and cedar as well.

Palate: Dry wine with sweetness at the tip of the tongue. Fruit-forward with a little raspberry in addition to the black cherry and blackberry. Lots of earth and smoke here as well. Finish is medium to long, especially since the caramel and coconut really hang on the alcohol. Both acidity and tannins and low to medium, and the quality of the tannins are smooth and round.

Conclusion: I'd call this wine layered but not complex. It is straightforward in its many aromatics, which hit fruit and earth and winemaking right on the head. To enhance the smoke, pair with grilled meats in a lighter marinade or chipotle-spiced tacos.

Tasting note breakdown

Heading: Here you will provide all practical information about the wine. If wine tasting is like dating (which I have already told you it is), this is where you get the basic details: height, job, dopeness of hairstyle.

Appearance: Unlike in dating, here the appearance is the least important factor in determining anything about anything. A few clues, however, can give us potential insight into a wine's age, style and grape varietal, but all must be confirmed by other factors. A quick swirl can help you determine the body of the wine. Unless a wine is high in sugar and alcohol, like port, which will move more slowly, it should be in the normal range.

When I say age, I mean age for that wine. A Cabernet may be too young to drink even after a few years, while a Sauvignon Blanc should be consumed quickly and will start to look old perhaps after only 18 months. Red wines get lighter with age while white wines get darker. A young red wine will have a purpley-blue tone that reaches all the way to the edge of the liquid when the glass is tipped slightly, while over time the color will move toward a translucent rust-brown color. White wines will be clear and bright in youth, then they'll brown over time. But a good Pinot Noir is often transparent, and a beautiful Amarone will be brown-ish in color even when young. And you may prefer an older wine. I sometimes do. Young wines will yield more fruit-forward flavors. Older wines develop what is known as a "bottle bouquet" and have weirder, more complex, tertiary flavors in play.

This is also the time to notice sediment or petillance. Sediment is extremely rare and usually a good thing. Most wine now is fined and filtered, expect for old or fancy or super organic wines. So before you send a sediment-y wine back, consider how expensive it is. Seriously. The more expensive, the more likely that sediment is supposed to be there. What you believe is sediment may also be tartrates, a natural byproduct of tartaric acid, which is the acid from grapes. Not an issue. Petillance is common in delicate whites. If you see it in a red that's not supposed to sparkle, it could be a sign of bad things. Ask your server for their opinion.

Nose: Contrary to popular belief, you should not immediately swirl your wine. You'll actually pick up a different set of aromatics when a wine is still and right after it's been swirled. So give it a good sniff and make some notes before swirling. Then spin and get your nose up in there again. Cool, right? The incomparable Shelby Ledgerwood gave us a neat tip for helping to determine what we're smelling: start broad then narrow it down. So start with citrus, then consider what kind and even what form. Fresh grapefruit. Lemon curd. Dried orange peel. Start with earth, then narrow that down: dirt, leather, tobacco, horse. I don't always get all the way there (see: "earth" in every post I've ever written), but it makes trying less intimidating.

Palate: The same as nose, plus more! You may get slightly different aromatics on the palate (known as "in-mouth aromatics"). To help with that, hold the wine in your mouth and suck a little air in through your teeth. You'll get a little slurping noise. The air coming in helps you activate your nose, which is where tasting really happens. Our mouths only taste sweet, salty, bitter, sour and umami. Everything else is scent. Here you'll evaluate those taste elements (dry wine or sweet, how dry and how sweet?). Salty wines don't really exist, but some super fresh whites will be so dry they'll seem salty, as you'll salivate a lot after drinking them. Bitterness comes from tannin. The tannin level will inform your serving and pairing suggestions (which will come in the conclusion). Fats cut tannins, and bitter foods like greens boost the bitterness. Most wines do NOT need to be decanted or oxygenated or let to breathe. Only super tannic wines require this, so don't pour out your reds automatically. Taste first, pour second. The acidity and finish are also evaluated here. I'm terrible at evaluating acidity. I think it's like determined by the sides of your tongue? And how dry your mouth is after? Sorry, bros. The finish is how long the flavors persist on the palate. 2-4 seconds is short, 5-8 is medium, 9+ is long. A classic "one Mississippi, two Mississippi..." in your head will do.

Conclusion: Here is where you evaluate anything you want about the wine. The value for it's price, what to serve with it, when to drink it, how it compares to other wines of its varietal and/or region. It seems like a good spot for some feelings, but a true taster will be using an objective system. It's not about if you like it, it's about the structure, nose, and quality of the wine. I tend to do a little of each. I try to evaluate first objectively, then in terms of how much I like it. This allows me to determine the kinds of wines I like to drink. So at this point, even without my recent discovery that I'm embarrassingly predictable, I know I enjoy a murky, dirty, Old World-style wine. Give proper tasting a try. At the very least, you'll have taken a moment out of your drinking to engage the senses. If that's not the best form of meditation, I don't know what is.

Adventures in wine tasting and how it turns out I'm totally predictable

As I mentioned last week, I signed up for this HuffPo-certified wine club. The first thing they do in this club is send you mini bottles of wine. You taste those, and your reactions to them creates a taste profile that helps Lot18 send you wines you'll like. This weekend I got my tasting kit and learned a very important lesson:

Wine tasting is exactly like dating.

As a 27-and-a-half-year-old woman of the modern era with breasts and minimal shyness, I've had the opportunity to date a lot. I'm not one of these people who likes going on dates. I admire those people. I really do. I wish I could be like them. But for me, dates are all about anxiety. Will he like me? Will I like him? Will he like me but I don't like him and then I'll blow him off totally gracelessly and rack up even more bad romantic karma? Will I be honest, like everyone tells you to be, only to be known as a bitch forevermore (the guaranteed consequence of honesty, by the way. I've determined there are only two ways to tell someone you're not interested that will spare their feelings and yours: say you've decided to be exclusive with someone else, or just ignore them entirely and let them assume you died. Lying and disappearing may seem immature, because they are, but they're also the easiest and kindest way to go about things. No one wants to hear the truth. Anyone who says they do is lying. People want to hear they're great and that is all).

What got me thinking about all this, besides the fact that I'm a human being, was my tasting kit. Lot18 gives you six wines, two whites and four reds, along with basic tasting instructions (that are woefully incomplete), and a piece of paper to put your glasses on which makes it seem like they had some extra glossy card stock lying around because why. I was so excited to get deep into my nuanced reactions to each wine so as to create a specific profile for my taste buds and then receive wine each month catered to my very whims.

So you can imagine my disappointment when the only questions about the two white wines were: which did you like better? How much more, a lot or a little? And that was it. How are you supposed to tell anything about my tastes just from that??

Another disappointment was the wines themselves: Ten Sisters 2011 Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand and Finial 2011 Chardonnay from Sonoma. I get what they did here: gave me the two main families of white wine, buttery and tart. And while each wine did a fine job representing its typicity (meaning what wines of that grape and region tend to taste like), neither was particularly exciting. The Sauvignon Blanc had a mineral quality and tartness, but without the burst of grapefruit and green apple I expect, especially from Marlborough. The Chardonnay was pure buttered popcorn and baked red apple, which might be nice for a Chardonnay but just isn't for me. I didn't really like either wine, but didn't want to get sent a bunch of Chardonnay, so I said I liked the Sauvignon Blanc much better. Sort of like when a friend sets you up with an actress and a doctor, and you don't like either, but since everyone in LA loves to hate on actresses, you say prefer the doctor for future reference. But you sleep with the actress because, I mean, of course. Like I wasn't going to not drink the Chardonnay. There was perfectly good alcohol in there. End of the whites.

I moved on to the reds expecting more bland typicity and unrevealing questions. Voila 2009 Pinot Noir from California was next, and it had the basic earth and fruit balance of a California Pinot, some berries, fruitier than its European counterparts but still a bit savory. It was fine. And just as I started to worry that maybe it was me, maybe I was too picky, maybe I'd never find a wine I could truly love because I didn't love myself, I took a whiff of the Nebbiolo. And, as it turns out...

Everyone has a type.

Ordine di San Giuseppe 2011 Nebbiolo d'Alba is a star. Licorice and dirt and blackberry and leather and pepper and WOW. And I hadn't even tasted it. On the palate this wine was super tannic but still velvety and weird and wonderful. Now, here's the thing. I've tasted Nebbiolo maybe twice in my life. So even if this is typical, it's new to me. Here's the other thing: I don't care. This is exactly the kind of wine I like. Which made me realize that this, too, could be a basic, typical wine. But when you find your type, to you, it's new and electrifying, even if it's just like all the other wines you've tried or people you've dated because there's a reason you keep going back. It's chemical.

I go back and forth with online dating. I was off for about four months but I recently reactivated my profile. When you do this, all your old messages pop back up. Some of the users have since left the site, but if they're still on it, but some are still around, looking for love. I logged in and found most of the messages were from users who were no longer active. But there was one chain with a guy I'd been messaging back and forth with quite a bit, who I seem to have been pretty into. Too bad I left the site. It seems like we could have dated. But I'm not too worried about what might have been, because, you see, we did.

About a month after I left the world of internet love, I met this guy in real life. We dated for six weeks or so, and then just stopped calling each other. While we were perfect on paper, I think we both realized the spark wasn't there. That's how I felt, anyway. I have no idea why he just disappeared, the bastard. And I know he didn't just die because I ran into him since then. He was on a date. She looked a lot like me.

In our messages, this guy talks about his new favorite place in LA. We went there on our second date. We discuss our favorite books. We did it again in real life. I had no clue when we met or throughout the relationship that we'd had this correspondence. If he did, he didn't let on. Remember, my profile disappeared when I deactivated my account, so he wouldn't have had the pictures for reference anymore. But this wasn't fate. This was too banal for fate. This was just the inevitability of two people who were each others' types. When you find someone or something whose qualities you're predetermined to like, you're gonna like them, no matter how typical.

There were a couple other wines, Letterpress Red Blend (I think, this wine needs a far less confusing label) and Fortuna 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon from Paso Robles. They were solid but nothing compared to the novel Nebbiolo. More typicity at work. I answered the shockingly few questions dutifully and received my profile.

The whites profile was dumb. I mean, I compared two wines I didn't like without ever being allowed to point out that I liked neither. So I clicked to the reds, and was embarrassed to find...

They nailed it.

I mean they just got me. I'm just as typical and predictable as these wines! In only a few questions, I managed to be pegged for my exact tastes. I love Tempranillos. Earthy wines are my fav. I was just as fated to love the wine that was perfect on paper for me as I was inevitably going to date that guy.

I ended up canceling my membership when I saw the wines they planned to send me. Until they expand their inventory, it seems they'll be sending more of a sampler than wines tailored to the members' tastes as promised. I know what I like. But I also know that the most important thing is to be surprised. That element was lacking in my autumn courtship and exploded from my glass of Nebbiolo. Surprise doesn't mean dating or drinking against type. It just means that even if something is perfect on paper, it needs an x factor to put it over the edge. The scent of licorice. The subtle kiss of leather. Or really good sex.

Fresh start

I'm moving!

Some dear, dear friends with a stunning, stunning home asked me to move in. Though I'll miss living alone, I'm thinking having two super smart, creative, productive guys around might shame me into not watching 17 illegally streamed episodes of "Friends" in a row on a Wednesday afternoon. It also means I'll get to taste more wines because I'll always have friends to help me finish the bottle! Might blog less when I have people to actually talk to though. Oh, the possibilities!

It'll be 5 years in LA this August and I'm excited for the change. I'm also excited because omg look at this place

Living Room part A (peep the fireplace, y'all! you can change who you are, y'all! I'm counting on it, you guys (I can't pull off y'all))

Living Room part B (yeah, that's a record player. I'm cool by association. Having Mom send her old records. Stressed that Chipmunks Christmas was top priority. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, LOS ANGELES)

Mega gorgeous dining room with melty candles and mural

Oh yeah. They made a Banksy.

The deck at the top of the backyard

The view from said deck

The view of the yard. Hi, Paul!

Didn't have a photo of my other roommate David SO I MADE ONE. See? Their creativity is already rubbing off!

In honor of my new home (don't worry -- the gold cat statues have been cleared to move in with me), I decided to try a new kind of wine: Gruner Veltliner. This dry, Hungarian beauty is as light and tart and sweet and sour as moving (give me some leeway on the term bittersweet here, it's not bitter but you get it).

My selection was the Floriana 2011 Gruner Veltliner from Trader Joe's. Cheap and sassy, this white peach-lemon-candied violet (I don't know, something like that, it's delicious) coquette of a wine tells you right upfront it's not going to sugar coat it. Seriously, I love when the label tells you the dryness. Why don't all wines do this? How else am I supposed to know what to pair with my Rite Aid 'Thrifty' frozen Greek-style yogurt? Man the switch to CVS is gonna be rough.

This label tells you what to pair it with, what temperature to serve it at... it's a roadmap to drinking! I wish life were like this. I wish I could know moving was the right decision. A part of me worries that the homeless guy who camps out next to my current parking space when it rains might actually be my soulmate and I'm missing out. But if that's he case, why hasn't he made a move?

But generally, it's nice to guess with wine. And life. Even if you guess wrong, you and most of your guests will still praise the pairing. You'll make it work. Because after all, nothing doesn't go with good conversation.

So yes. I toasted no longer living alone alone, with a super dry, tart, bitchy, complex Hungarian that embodies everything I long to be but am not. But who knows? Maybe I'll stop being so friendly when I bite the bullet, buy a bike, and move into the nicest place in Silverlake with the greatest guys around.

Congratulations, youth!

I was introduced to Vinho Verde in my wine class. It's light, zippy, cheap and full of petillance. Plus, unlike most of the wine I drink, it's from a far away exotic land and I'm not even talking about a different part of California. It's from Portugal! And if there's a place called Portugal, California, that is not the one I mean! For a summer afternoon full of good news that will lead into a potluck The Voice finale situation, I cracked open my bottle from real Portugal, the country, and celebrated both my youth and its. And Rhett and Scarlett's.

This dry, refreshing, delicate wine has hints of green apple and peach on the nose and so much fizz on the palate it could nearly be champagne. It's fresh and fun and zingy and topical, like Selena Gomez music in your mouth!

Check out Casal Garcia Vinho Verde, or really any Vinho Verde. Good ones run about 8 bucks, and while they tend to be simple and straightforward, they have more complexity than a garden variety Pinot Grigio of the same price. Change up your light summer wine lineup and toast with almost-sparkling... to youth!

In my youth I was kind to my brother.

Love this!

A fantastic little cheat sheet!

Celebrity wines

Ok, I get that I can't have a celebrity body, in any interpretation of that phrase. I get that I can't have a celebrity lifestyle. But when they make a wine? Well, the Coppolas have made it clear I can at least have that.

But oh no. Brad and Angie have to win this one. You can imagine my excitement when I saw this in my inbox:

Followed by my utter disappointment when I clicked the link and this popped up:

I mean fuck you! I know it sold out back in March, but I thought this was my chance! Then I found out that wine distributors like Shelby Ledgerwood were buying it all up. When asked if she'd tried it, Shelby said she didn't have to. Everyone wanted it, even without her opinion, so she just sold it off. Why waste a bottle? 

I think it's kind of unfair that celebrities get to have wine we can't have on top of everything else. Which means there's only one thing to do: saturate the market for celebrity wine. Below are some suggestions I have for some new celebrity wines:

Heidi Montag California 2009 Red Blend

This full bodied wine is a mish-mash of all your favorite reds. Heady aromas of strawberry and petrol entice you to take a sip, at which point you don't like it but you can't quite articulate why. It should be great, but it's a petty, ugly little wine.

Carrot Top 2011 Rose

Brilliant pink color with slight petillance. Bright and acidic with angular, precise aromas of tangerine and meth. A fine, drinkable rose perfect for wasting an entire afternoon.

Dame Judy Dench Grand Cuvee

This dusty but magnificent sparkling wine goes with everything. Stern and delightfully fungal with notes of gooseberry and flint. A treasure.

Carson Daly 1998 Cabernet Sauvignon

A star vintage that declined in the early 2000s and is now picking up an extraordinary bottle bouquet of perfume and peppy rose petal aromatics. The wine that just won't quit.

The best sangria that can be

White sangria is the dreamiest of summer drinks. Try this one at a movie picnic like we did and let all your dreams come true!

Step 1 of this sangria is to get a portable jug from Target and then never trust that it is closed. Seriously, this thing will pee from all sides all over your life. But it's really useful if you stay hyper vigilant.

White sangria kills it when you use bright, tart, fruits like green apple and especially peaches, nectarines and apricots, which will impart their juices on the wine. You'll be drunkenly reaching into the top to snack on the fruit even before the wine is finished! Even before it's started!

Ok, so you take your jug and pour in your booze. First off, Triple Sec is crucial for white sangria. 1/3 cup for every bottle of wine is good. So 2/3 of a cup to go with my two bottles of bright, grapefruit-y Sauvignon Blanc...

But no Triple Sec is needed to balance the 3 glasses (1 cube) worth of this sweetie sweet, fab floral little Moscato from Target...

Then chop up your fruit in pretty little slices, drop it on in, and let it soak overnight!

To recap:

Plenty of tart fruits (green apple, nectarine, apricot was used here. Also try cherries, raspberries, peaches and even a little candied ginger)

1/3 cup of Triple Sec for every 750ml bottle of dry white wine (Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio are best here, but a dry Riesling or fruity Gewurztraminer would be a darling experiment)

Sweet wine (such as this Moscato from Target) to taste (optional)

Soak overnight

Final step: have a beautiful friend hold up the jug for the world to see!

A great blog that isn't mine

They exist! Obviously. This is a tonally uneven marriage between a sad person's Instagram and the diary of a lesser Kardashian.

Check out The Reverse Wine Snob. Fantastic reviews for all us aspiring oenophiles who don't have the cash to support fancy drinking habits. And he takes recommendations, which I feel like is the 21st century version of having a court taster for the king. Only this guy tries cheap wine before you do and makes sure it's good enough to impress people at dinner parties. Which is basically 30% of the point of wine, as illustrated below:

Follow Jon on Twitter for the newest and tastiest reviews!

Melville Vineyards: all about honesty

Last night I had the pleasure of hearing Chad Melville of Melville Vineyards speak about his winemaking process. Only, Chad eschews the word "winemaker." He views himself instead as a "wine grower." Chad and his family do as little winemaking as possible, relying on Mother Nature for most of the flavor. Melville favors whole cluster fermentation and stem inclusion whenever possible, which adds earthy, green tannins to their reds. Their Chardonnay isn't aged in new oak or buttered up with malolactic fermentation. They only use old oak barrels, which allow the wine to breath and come into contact with the environment more than steel, but don't impart that heavy flavor of new oak. The result is a crisp, acidic, mineral-y Chardonnay that more closely resembles a Sauvignon Blanc than the grape my grandmother drinks. Chad understands that stem inclusion makes wines "less approachable." But he feels it is important to make wine entirely rooted in the land, with as little outside influence as possible. He even makes wine with wild, local yeast!

To my further surprise and delight, despite the fact that Melville doesn't use pesticides and does everything right, they don't tout their sustainable status. Chad hates the word organic! Yes! He says it no longer means anything. Ok, so we hate the word for slightly different reasons (I don't like a word that makes me feel guilty for spending less on toilet paper. Believe me. I would like to be able to spend more on toilet paper). But still, a man after my own heart.

Perhaps the most refreshing thing about the talk, other than that Chardonnay, was when Chad discussed a question he often gets: "Are you guys trying to be Burgundy?" to which he replies, "We're not a cover band." Sure, he uses old world farming and winemaking techniques. He produces elegant, earthy, cool-climate wines that feel far more French than Californian, even though he's less than two hours away from LA. But the wines he and his family make (grow) are distinct, truly their own. They farm down to the tiniest plots of land, making different wines from different slivers of sections of a row of a vineyard. Where wild yeast is used, each fermenting tank is its own wine, because the yeast is random and will impart a distinct and additional set of aromatics on each tank.

So I would agree with Mr. Melville. He's not a winemaker. He is an artist.

Pick up a bottle of Melville Vineyards at The Wine House or better yet, have a visit!

Wine + IT'S F-ING HOT IN MY APARTMENT

You know how it's so annoying when people who live in great climates complain about the weather? Me too but I don't care cause it's fucking HOT these days and I do not like it! Also the thing is I'm allowed to complain because I am going to tell you about a really stunning wine to cool off with, generally and specifically.

That is, unsurprisingly, Sancerre. Now, Sauvignon Blanc is, as I'm sure you all remember because you do nothing but read this blog, generally a tart and tasty wine with an acerbic personality. If you don't remember, just click here for a refresher on this refresher. I'm pretty sure everyone but Brittany Flores should have just clicked there. Brittany, your loyalty is a treasure; your encouragement my sun.

Vis-a-vis treasure, ditto Sancerre. Sancerre is Sauvignon Blanc specific to the Sancerre region of France. While New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs (such as the delicious Kono, available at TJ's for like 8 bucks) are quite aromatic, Sancerres tend to be a little more reserved but with a cool, subtle flavor that will cool you down quick. I mean, it's French cheerleader wine. What is colder and bitchier than that? I paired the Sancerre I had on hand with my air conditioner:

The 2011 Laurent Reverdy is a little pricier than most of the wines I get, but the wine lady at Trader Joe's swore it was worth it. With the AC on and my best friend on her way over for dinner, it felt like the right time to find out.

This wine has everything you want from a Sauvignon Blanc, especially on a hot day, plus more. It's subtle and tart. It's bright and light and goes with all my sundresses. It's got green apple, pink grapefruit, wet stone and under-ripe pear on the nose, with a slightly savory note and gentle creaminess on the palate, almost like a hint of goat cheese. What's great also is that this is a really nicely balanced wine, so even as it warms up the alcohol doesn't assault the senses. Light petillance (Brittany knows what I'm talking about) intensifies the aroma. Pairs well, I hope, with scallops, asparagus and lemon pepper quinoa. The acid should help it stand up well to the strawberries we've got for dessert, and although the meringues I baked yesterday (off this recipe from my former food blog) are undoubtedly too sweet to pair with it, the Frenchness feels oh-so-proper. Cheers to Saturday night!

Can you tell I really wanted to get in a shot of my fingernails WHICH I DID MYSELF ok sorry goodnight.

FIN.

Wine + astrology

If there's one field more doubted than wine tasting, it's astrology. I spout off about aromas of wet stone and petrol and quince and even I don't really buy into it. To be fair, part of the reason I don't believe in astrology is because I decided to get into it at one point, got an online reading of my astrology and numerology, and was told my life is going to continue to be a disappointment until its early end. You know how psychics only ever give you good news? Internet astrologers don't have the same tact.

But on its most simple and fun level, astrology is all about character. And so is wine. Wines age. Wines have layers. As far as beverages go, they're pretty human. And so, knowing pretty much nothing about astrology but at least as much as the astrologist at Seventeen magazine, I thought I'd give recommend wines by star sign. Because that's the other thing drinking wine has in common with reading your horoscope: why not?

Aries

Characteristics: competitive, impulsive, independent, dynamic, quick-tempered, domineering, trusting, honest
Symbol: Ram
Element: Fire
Wine: A strong and spicy wine that steals the show with its bold, straightforward flavors. Try this 2009 Amitage Red Blend with steak and potatoes and saying it to their face. Maybe a little punching, too.

Taurus

Characteristics: patient, dependable, practical, determined, artistic, loyal, stubborn, self-indulgent
Symbol: Bull
Element: Earth
Wine: There's more to you than meets the eye, like the fact that you love the finer things in life even though you're down-to-earth. Pair yourself with something equally indulgent, complex, and stubbornly delicious like the Herederos Del Marques De Riscal 2006 Rioja Reserva. And the popcorn I paired it with isn't a bad idea for you either--air signs can lighten up earth signs, just like popcorn can help the flavors in this wine sing.

Gemini

Characteristics: curious, versatile, expressive, persuasive, changeable, clever, restless, talkative
Symbol: Twins
Element: Earth
Wine: I'm a Gemini. It's the easiest star sign to bullshit, because people just say, "oh, well there's two of you." So basically any personality trait goes. I say this is a wine wildcard. But since I'm bubbly, talkative, and will leave you with plenty of regrets in the morning, I'd say pick up some cheap champagne and pair it with this Miranda Lambert jam that just fucking gets it. I also like candies.

Cancer

Characteristics: tenacious, emotional, intuitive, sensitive, sympathetic, traditional, moody, manipulative
Symbol: Crab
Element: Water
Wine: Traditionally, white wine pairs well with shellfish, and this wine in particular brought on the waterworks when I drank (the whole bottle of) it. Get emotional with this hot little number, the 2010 Cut the Fluff.

Leo

Characteristics: dramatic, dignified, idealistic, ambitious, proud, generous, romantic, overbearing
Symbol: Lion
Element: Fire
Wine: To pair with that proud and dramatic personality, check out this properly bold 2011 Darkhorse Cabernet Sauvignon. Like the ideal Cabernet, it'll go well with your best home-cooked meal and some Passionate Feelings.

Virgo

Characteristics: Gentle, industrious, dependable, methodical, soft-spoken, humane, sincere, easily worried
Symbol: Virgin
Element: Earth
Wine: I was a virgin not so long ago. But I popped by Gewurztraminer cherry with this delicious one from Cupcake. Sweet and straightforward and downright delicious, this one could get even you talking. Pair it with Indian like I did, or a tart and earthy pear and goat cheese sandwich on hearty whole grain with a drop of honey and some afternoon friendship.

Libra

Characteristics: Cooperative, careful, artistic, persuasive, diplomatic, logical, indecisive, fickle
Symbol: Scales
Element: Air
Wine: If there's one person open-minded enough to judge Chardonnay, it's you. I've never reviewed one, but this Le Ferme Julien 2011 white blend with a hint of oak is a good place to start. And the fact that I paired it with The Voice, an exercise in excellent judgement (sometimes. Except when they eliminate people I like. They they are MONSTERS), is even more perfect!

Scorpio

Characteristics: Passionate, penetrating, private, resourceful, loyal, determined, temperamental, intolerant
Symbol: Scorpion
Element: Water
Wine: Hey, weirdo. I mean that in a good way. I find Scorpios to be weird of it and proud and super into astrology. They're kind of like Gemini, in that any personality trait goes. But here, instead of duplicity, the connotation is depth. This layered, passionate 2011 Boom Boom Syrah is delightfully confusing as well. Pair it with a stew as complex as your personality.

Sagittarius

Characteristics: Generous, honest, daring, friendly, confident, enthusiastic, argumentative, blunt
Symbol: Archer
Element: Fire
Wine: Well aren't you just sass and a half! Definitely cheerleader wine (2011 Callaway Sauvignon Blanc) for you. Take this wine to the beach, you little bitch, share it with your hot friends (because of course you have hot friends) and then crush it at drunk windsurfing.

Capricorn

Characteristics: Cautious, focused, responsible, serious, conventional, reliable, hardworking, unforgiving
Symbol: Goat
Element: Earth
Wine: Goats will eat anything. And someone this hardworking deserves to drink anything. Might I suggest this charming Merlot? It's nothing if not reliable...

Aquarius

Characteristics: Independent, tolerant, unpredictable, strong-willed, curious, perceptive, progressive, temperamental
Symbol: Water bearer
Element: Air
Wine: I bet you throw one hell of a party. I mean, that's what a modern-day water-bearer would do, right? So keep it as light and refreshing as your conversation with Reggiano Lambrusco Le Grotte, a super crowd-pleaser, and these blood mimosas you can make from it, which are unexpected and unparalleled.

Pisces

Characteristics: sensitive, compassionate, imaginative, adaptable, intuitive, idealistic, secretive, vulnerable
Symbol: Fish
Element: Water
Wine: The rich and bold Cocobon might seem a little fish-out-of-water (see what I did there?) for the quiet Pisces, but a bigger sweetheart of a wine there is not. Luscious and sensitive and full of secrets (the secrets are all that crazy mocha flavor), serve it with a box of chocolates and an evening of introspection.

But really, just taste all these wines. I mean, why not? They'll get you drunker than your horoscope.

Star sign info courtesy of infoplease.

Wine + expectations

Gewurztraminer is a very aromatic grape which, in I believe one of my best posts to date, I recently came to terms with loving. So I picked up this 2010 Columbia Valley Columbia Winery Gewurztraminer at the 5 cent wine sale.

As far as this flavorful grape goes, this wine is pretty mild. Thank goodness it has a fair amount of petillance. I had to stick my nose all up into that glass to get aromas, even with those baby bubbles to help me out. But there they were, spice (candied ginger comes to mind) and rose (but oh-so-little and it was gone in a day) and tinned lychee or maybe dried persimmon--some dense, sweet fruit going on. Sweet on the palate with enough acidity to keep it from being flabby, this has everything a Gewurztraminer should have, just a little less. It's a little more restrained. A little duller.

It's the Lady Edith of wines.

That doesn't mean it sucks. I mean, ok, if you were expecting Ladies Sybil, Mary or Dowager Countess Violet, you will be bored by this wine. But it's a Gewurztraminer you can actually pair with savory food without having to worry it will wear pants or fuck a Turk or be so deliciously and eloquently catty you just... can't even! It will go great with plenty of foods without monopolizing the conversation. Chicken, turkey, or savory foods with a good amount of sugar like Thai food or tagine will all taste A+ with this. It's also sweet enough to enjoy with a light dessert like pear sorbet or an elegant fruit tart. Lady Edith has all the basics in place but none of that irritating "personality" to get in the way.

The only problem is, Lady Edith also fancies herself interesting and modern. But really she's just pair-able. That's her best quality. If this weren't labeled a Gewurztraminer, I wouldn't be disappointed. But when you expect something vibrant and fragrant, cause it was all, "I am vibrant and fragrant by name and occupation," YOU DON'T WANT LADY FUCKING EDITH.

Peace out, lame wine. I'm bringing my second, 5 cent bottle to a party. A PARTY.

Lady Edith at dinner

Wtf is...

Petillance?

Sometimes white wine that isn't sparkling has little bubbles in it. This is called petillance. Like most of us raised to be effervescent, is usually not an error. Bubbles occur naturally in a wine when fermentation happens in a closed container. That's how classic champagne is made. But a little spritz can be added to white wines so that their aromatics will carry up to your nose rather than sitting in the glass. Call it pseudo-sparkling if you like. You will be wrong to call it that, but you will make sense. If you want to be right and pretentious and often misunderstood, say the wine has petillance. I feel like I've given you a fair breakdown of acceptable options here. Petillance lifts light aromatics in whites so you can enjoy them more lazily.

Spritz and shout

This is just to say

"I have eaten 

the plums 

that were in 

the icebox 

and which 

you were probably 

saving 

for breakfast 

Forgive me 

they were delicious 

so sweet 

and so cold"

Suck it, William Carlos Williams. I live alone, so I eat all the plums I want.

I also drink more wine than my budget ought to allow, but when it's a cheap little thrill like this cutie-pie of a Pinot Grigio, c'est la vie. Or like, the Italian version of c'est la vie.

Another TJ's recommendation (can you tell I finally went grocery shopping this weekend?), the 2012 Villa Borghetti Grigio Luna is, like most Pinot Grigios, light and sprightly. It's got the wet stone aroma of a Sauvignon Blanc without the ultra-tart grapefruit flavor that often comes along with it. The fruit on this is more apricot or nectarine, and the wine has a creamy quality with relatively low acid. It's not sweet, it's just pure refreshment. Oh-so-drinkable for this spring weather we've been having, pair this baby with a porch. This would also make a great base for a white sangria or a white wine spritzer with a few raspberries thrown in.

Also, this is just to say, I am still working on the puzzle. It is so sweet and so hard and so 4000 pieces.

I sit inside of it.

Wine + vocals

It's time for wine and The Voice, y'all! You can change who you are, y'all. I kind of want to see Spring Breakers again, y'all. But first, cheers, Carson!

If you've never seen The Voice, you should remedy that. I used to doubt singing competition shows until that fateful Superbowl when The Voice followed the game and everything changed.

This show has So. Many. Dreams. Every one of these people is living their dream before your very eyes. The coaches are positive and enthusiastic and funny. And the best thing about it is that the auditions are blind. The coaches don't get to see who the singers are before committing to coaching them. This leads to ugly people getting opportunities in entertainment and a lot of comments like, "how are you not a girl?" and polite versions of "wait, you're white?" Dreams come true left and right and everybody gets free Starbucks.

This amazing display of dreams got me thinking about blind tastings. Blind tastings with guessing are a badge of honor for proper sommeliers, but can be useful for the casual wine drinker as well. And no wine benefits more from a blind tasting than Chardonnay.

Chardonnay has a bad reputation, and that's not entirely fair. Sure, a lot of grandmas drink it and ok, oak gets used a lot, but like the red-headed stepchild of reds, Merlot, there are some real gems being overlooked because of prejudice.

Most people who don't like Chardonnay, myself included, just don't like the heavy oak used. But the only reason oak is used so often in Chardonnay is that its relative neutrality led it to be known as the winemaker's grape. Furthermore, when people started oaking Chardonnay, it was hugely popular. It's only recently that the oak flavors, especially combined with two other common winemaking practices, lees ageing (which gives a toasty, biscuity flavor) and malolactic fermentation (which lends a creamy mouthfeel and a buttery aroma), have become unpopular. It used to be Chardonnay was prized for allowing these winemaking qualities to stand out. Now most prefer no oak or oak they can't detect because an aromatic grape was used.

But unoaked or lightly oaked Chardonnays are out there and they can be great. Shelby Ledgerwood gave us one for our final exam and we all thought it was Pinot Grigio or Sauvignon Blanc. Similarly, oak can be used and detectable in other whites, such as the 2011 Le Ferme Julien Blanc, which my charming friend Kate served last night, without taking over the flavor of the wine entirely.

A blend of 5 grapes, 10% of this wine is oaked with lees ageing and 90% is unoaked. It gives just a hint of the flavor but  doesn't overwhelm (unlike Carson Daly's desire to be part of every family that walks into the auditions. Watch him. It's amazing. Dude forces so many hugs). It offers citrus and a drop of honey on the nose with a little nuttiness. Pair it with chicken or salad, but don't be afraid to nibble a lemon cupcake alongside it like we did.

So push your button for a Chardonny. Experiment with a lightly oaked white. Throw a blind tasting blind auditions party (ok this is happening). You could end up achieving your wildest dream. Or just getting tipsy while Adam Levine flirts with a pregnant Shakira. Which literally happens. Seriously, how are you not watching this show?

Kate is a person with whom I would like to Freaky Friday.

WTF are...

Tannins. What are they? Where do they come from? Who's peach is this, can I have it? It's not labeled. But then, how do you label a peach? These are just some of the questions you might have.

Tannins are molecules that taste bitter and cause dryness in the mouth. But what seems like bad-tasting dork-science is actually a crucial part of wine, especially if it's meant to age. And what were once thought to be nutritionally neutral at best are now known to be good for our health. So bring on the dark chocolate, pair it with a nice red wine, and read on.

Tannins come into wine a couple different ways. First, grape skins have tannins. Since red wine is red because of skin contact, it generally has more tannins than white. The amount of tannins is influenced by the thickness of the skin and the time spent in contact with it. Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah, for example, are thick skinned grapes, so they tend to yield tannic wines. Because the skins contain aromatics, sometimes winemakers will do a cold soak for whites. This means they allow the wine to spend some time in contact with the skins quickly, just to extract a little flavor. This will up the astringency (dry mouth factor, and how tannins are referred to in white wines). Winemakers will taste grapes for their "physiological ripeness" which is, in part, a judgement of their level of tannin (as opposed to their physical ripeness, which is just how ripe the fruit is).

Another place we get tannins is from wood. So an oak-aged Cabernet is going to be crazy tannic, and an oaked Chardonnay may have more tannins than an unoaked or lightly oaked Pinot Noir, a thin-skinned grape. Tannins help a wine age, so oak is often used for this purpose. This is also why red wines age best.

More bonuses? While tannins give headaches to some people, they improve vascular health in everyone. Antioxidants in red wine have also been shown to decrease the risk of cancer.

But sometimes tannins can be a bit much, their texture getting in the way of the wine's flavor. This is when we decant wines. If a wine is meant to be aged and we open it early, or just has too many tannins for our liking, we can speed up the aging process by pouring it out of the bottle and letting it relax for a spell. As the wine sits, the tannins link up and sink to the bottom of the vessel. Then they're not so strong. Most wines, however, do not need to be decanted, and contact with oxygen at room temperature will cause aromatics to release, making the wine blander than it ought to be. So don't decant unless the tannins are really getting on your nerves.

Fat softens tannins, which is why we serve red meats with tannic wines like Cabernet and Syrah. But tannins combined with fish oils will taste metallic, while tannins plus another bitter element like heirloom lettuces will create an overwhelmingly bitter sensation. If you like your big reds, make sure you give them a bold meal so they can be at their best.

What do you think, J, they ready?

WASP wine

They call it 2010 Cut The Fluff. I call it The Real Housewives of Trader Joe's. 

If last week's white was a cheerleader, this wine is a cheerleader who grew up, married the quarterback, divorced him, fooled around with Kelsey Grammer for a while, started a perfume line after her single dropped and thinks her botox is fooling everyone. She'll throw herself at you if you make enough money and throw herself at you if you talk back to her at her own garden party (cause how else can she throw a glass of wine in your face?).

Topping out at a hefty 14.2% ABV, this is one boozy white. With melons and florals on the nose giving way to a rich body with peach notes and surprisingly little sweetness on the palate, this sinful, slightly savory wine is a pleasure to sip, if a little showy (omg but do NOT tell it I said that). When this wine decided to "Cut the Fluff," it meant that in the way all Real Housewives mean it when they say something like, "I'm just going to be honest with you" which is to say it means things are about to get real complicated and a little punchy in here. Luckily, with wine, that's a good thing. It's a California Central Coast blend, but really, don't all WASPs have a little west coast heritage and something extra in them these days?

Serve with fried chicken, smoked salmon, or some other salty situation to make the fruit flavors sing. Pairing with Bugles and a Real Housewives marathon? Perfection. Cheddar Chex Mix and the second season of Girls you're watching via your friend's parents' HBOGo account (thanks, Stacey)? A dream. Straight from the bottle on your way to 7-11 to get this stuff because damnit, Ali Schouten, you make me crave? Right behind you.

Oh, and the cork is pretty.

Sauvignon Blanc and BITCHES!!!

 

If the stereotypical high school cheerleader were a wine, she would be Sauvignon Blanc. Peppy, cheery, and sharp on the palate, Sauvignon Blanc is the acerbic queen bee you always wish you had to hate. Of course, real cheerleaders aren't actually that cool anymore because girls play sports now, but in our minds, cheerleaders are stone cold hotties with great lotion. Sauvignon Blanc, which tends to have core notes of wet stone and pink grapefruit coupled with high acidity and little sweetness, is just that. And most importantly, it doesn't apologize for it.

Callaway 2011 Sauvignon Blanc is no exception. From nearby Temecula and available widely, this wine is everything a sexy little Sauvignon Blanc should be. Those core notes are there, plus some tropical fruit on the palate. I'll confess, because I aspire to be an unapologetic bitch, that I made a truly remarkable white wine spritzer with it that was way better than anything you drank last week, even if it sounds like something your grandmother would order. This wine kicked ass with pesto pasta dotted with anchovies (yeah, I like those too, what of it, 1990s pizza jokes?)

This is a wine to drink with your girls while watching "Clueless" or lounging by the pool. This is a wine to drink while practicing your Mavis Gary sneer. This is a wine that knows what it is and likes itself. Even if it thinks everyone else is kind of lame and isn't afraid to say so. And that makes it damn delicious. Because after all, isn't that refreshing?